Thrive to 105

So…I’m an information junkie!  Most of the “junk” I like to read about and digest has to do with self-improvement and health (I need as much help as I can get to Thrive to 105).  I’ve always thought it was a shame that I couldn’t share this information.  Even though it is usually in a public forum (magazines, articles, books), not everyone has or takes the time to read about some of the things I find.

Well, I’ve decided to post a routine blog post where I will begin to share all these little gems and tidbits of information that could be of help to someone…we never know, do we?  These posts will be titled, aptly, “Information Junkie”.  Hopefully, it will get to be a fun part of reading my blog that will be looked forward to with happy anticipation.  Maybe you can share some information you think this junkie will be interested in that I may even pass on to the multitude of readers I’m amassing!

Here is a little taste of the kind of things I’ll be blogging about in the Information Junkie posts from Thrive to 105:

• From Prevention Magazine (Nov 2009) – the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation has found in its studies that most smells will increase penile blood flow for a man.  Why is this important?  Well, ladies, your perfume only increases the blood flow by 3%!  The smell of a cheese pizza increased (in their studies) blood flow by 5%.  Buttered popcorn (make sure you take a seat at the back of the theater) increased blood flow by 9%!  However, to get the biggest (no pun intended), best reaction…bake him a pumpkin pie and dab lavender-scented oil behind your ears.  These combined scents increased blood flow by an impressive 40%!!!  Move over Viagra!

• From MORE (December 09/January 10) – I loved this one.  A woodworker from Maine named Chuck Lakin makes furniture that can later be used as a coffin.  Now all you need is a little plot in the backyard, and you can cut out the middleman and do your own funeral!

Okay, I know neither of these things has anything to do with self-improvement or longevity; but I’ve just moved, and a lot of my notes are still waiting to be unearthed here in my humble (and cluttered) abode.  How about this, from the Mind, Mood, and Memory newsletter for all you “multi-taskers” out there:

• If you frequently multi-task, you could be less able to concentrate than those who DON’T multi-task.  Tests were done that asked subjects to do tasks that involved “cognitive control” or how your brain directs its attention and decides what’s important.  People who make a habit of multi-tasking, when asked to ignore blue rectangles as they made determinations on aspects of red rectangles and switch between number and letter-based tasks, had more difficulty blocking out the irrelevant information.  It also took them longer to switch between areas of focus.  So if you like to brag that you are a great multi-tasker, you may not be quite as effective and efficient as you think.

That’s it for the first ‘installment’.  Check back soon for more “Information Junkie” junk!

Driving home one day from who knows where, I got a phone call from a woman I had never met.  Her name is Linda Watson.  She had gotten my name and phone number from a man whom, to this day, I have yet to meet (although some day I would like to thank him in person for the connection).  Linda was searching for women of like minds who would be open to learning about, discussing, and practicing the benefits and strength of the body, mind and spirit connection.  Although I wasn’t sure who, of the women I knew, would be important for her to know, I did know that I felt a strong attraction and bond to her almost immediately.  I told her I wanted to meet her in person!

I have to say, “Thank you, God, and thank you, John Freeborn, for bringing Linda into my life”!  When we first met, we talked easily for a couple hours; and before I left our first chat fest, Linda offered to do one of her treatments on me so I could experience what she wants others to know and learn through her practice, Wellness Without Walls.  The “treatment” was an amazing session, relaxing me more than I think I have ever been and putting me in touch with MY  mind/body/spirit connection, the significance of which I am just now beginning to see.

Most of us have likely heard or read the opinion that if you have three or four true friends in your life, you should consider yourself fortunate.  Well, I am more…much more…than fortunate.  I believe that the number of my true friendships is quite a bit higher than that; and now Linda is a most welcome addition.  Why have I been so blessed?  Perhaps it was all building up to this very impactful time in my life, because God knows I need them all very much right now.   True to form, they have not let me down; and for that I am tremendously grateful!

Friendship…another sign!  Value your friends; nurture those relationships!  There may come a time when they will help to save your life!

If you, like me, grew up a child of the 60’s and 70’s, you’re familiar with the song evoked by the title of this post.  Unlike the signs in the song, however, the “signs” I’ve seen of late are of a more positive nature.  Like the author of that song, I also feel a strong need to share the viewing and recognition of my “signs” and their significance for me.  Perhaps by sharing my “signs, at least one other person reading my blog might start paying attention to the “signs” in his or her life.

It’s hard to know where to begin; when you start to recall the signs, more seem to take shape that you may not have recognized before.  Perhaps the first one was the restlessness I began to feel living in the home of a very dear friend (Irene).  At the time, the opportunity of moving in with her was a God send for both of us.  Not only did it benefit us both financially, but it also rewarded us with time together to nurture our friendship at a juncture in our lives when we both needed it.

But I began to find myself feeling claustrophobic in my living space, my personal piles of “stuff” stifling and stressful.  I also found myself getting short-tempered and upset by insignificant things, which is a problem for me; because I am usually hard pressed to express anger outwardly towards others (which will become a topic of interest in future blog posts).  For this reason, I decided it was time to begin searching for my own place to live, knowing that the time was right for both me and Irene.

I sent an email “blast” to my wonderful circle of friends (to which I referred in my last post), asking them to help me find a new home of my own.  Needless to say, they came through for me and (thanks to Mary Kay and Sherley) I am writing this blog post from my antique rocker in the living room of my terrific and therapeutic new apartment.

The call to a new living space of my own was the first “sign” of things to come for me…and soon for other important people in my life.   Are you paying attention to the “signs” presenting themselves to you?  Today…try and be open to what the universe may be telling you that could impact your life…something that could help you “thrive” to….!

Written 1/17/10:

Day three in my new “home”...

Many boxes and containers have been emptied, which is always a little like opening presents. It’s fun to find things you forgot about, re-read notes stuffed inside a book or just find something that makes you wonder…”why the hell did I keep that”?

I’ve gotten tired easily these past couple of days. Today I started (and hope to continue) an improvement in my sleeping, eating, and exercising habits. It’s amazing what a little ‘wake-up call’ will do for your focus and discipline!

Not too long ago, I wrote an article about longevity and the importance of friendship. Well, if longevity were dependent on friends alone, I would live to be 150!! I have the most wonderful family and friends anyone could ever want. The great thing is that I always know they are there and can be counted on “through thick and thin”; but since my diagnosis on Thursday, everyone has rallied ’round me like covered wagons of old circling together to protect me. I don’t feel weak or discouraged, but their love buoys me up and is a safe haven where I can be myself and escape, if necessary.

Quite honestly, I still don’t feel as if this is happening to me… and miracles do happen, don’t they? Who’s to say it won’t disappear as stealthily as it appeared with enough positive, healthy energy directed at it? Truthfully, I’m just not owning it at this point. It’s like there’s something more to this whole scenario than I understand…the why…because there is a why, a reason, a lesson. I’ve always been a really good student, and this course I intend to pass with flying colors!

Written on 1/15/10:

I fell in love today. No…unfortunately not with someone tall, dark, and handsome…but with my new apartment! It was pretty much love at first sight! As soon as we walked in with the first armloads of belongings, I felt at home!

My new home is spacious with high ceilings, a fireplace, terrific walk-in closet in the master bedroom, a laundry room with washer/dryer included, an inviting bathtub in the master bath, and much more! It made me so happy to have my family and a couple friends over to see it. Alissa, PJ, Bobby, Beth, Bayley, and Makayla were here. Jimmy Frain came by, as did Mary Kay. Pam was with me all afternoon helping pack up, organize, and unpack on this end. It was such fun sitting on the floor talking, eating, sharing stories, and laughing.

After everyone had gone, Pam and I drove to get my TV and DVR, as well as a few more odds and ends. By 1:00 a.m. I was all alone, and it felt so right to be here! I sat in my grandma’s antique rocker in my bedroom and felt at peace for the first time in a very, very long time.

Tomorrow I will get up to a glorious new day with more unpacking, moving, and organizing to do. But it makes me feel alive and free and is something wonderfully positive to focus on. Tomorrow will be my first full day of being on my own and the second full day of being aware of my cancer. I can honestly say that the joy of settling into my new place will far out shadow the apprehension of dealing with my health issue tomorrow. Since all I am really guaranteed is this moment, I am going to revel in it as I turn on soft music for unwinding, slip under the covers, and go to sleep looking forward to a bright tomorrow!

Somewhere recently I read that on the date of your birthday each month you should do something you’ve never done before to celebrate all year long.   I thought that sounded like a cool idea; and when I began to try and think about things I’d be willing to do that I’d never done before, it was rather challenging…at least challenging to come up with things I could afford and was geographically able to do.

It never occurred to me that on the 13th of January (my birth date is the 13th of November), the thing I’ve never done would be having a biopsy on a lump in my breast and that the following day I’d be told I have breast cancer.  NOT POSSIBLE!!!  That’s what I want to tell them.  It can’t happen to me!  I’m planning to Thrive to 105!  Somehow cancer isn’t synonymous with thriving!

So much for the power of positive thinking, I think to myself…and actually mumble to others who love me and are trying to comfort me.  I was so sure when they found the lump it would be nothing but a cyst.  Then I was so sure that when they did the biopsy, it would be a papilloma…benign.  Now I’m faced with the specter of a mutilated breast at best or at the worst case, a mastectomy!  How…why…did this happen to me?  No doubt that is what every woman thinks when given this diagnosis.

I’m not the most diligent, health-obsessed person running around St. Louis; but I’m far from being unhealthy!  I don’t smoke, rarely drink, eat mostly healthy (except for desserts), used to exercise (and I promised myself I’d get back to it in my new apartment complex).  So why…how?

Of course I now agonize over the fact that I missed one year of having my mammograms…2008.  Why did I miss that one year?  I really don’t have a good reason.  If I had gone, would they have found it sooner before it became “invasive”?  I guess it really doesn’t matter.  As Mom so accurately advised last night, I can’t worry about what’s past and I shouldn’t worry about what hasn’t happened yet that I don’t know will happen.  So whether or not the lump was there since 2008, it doesn’t matter.  What matters is taking care of it now!

I vacillate between feeling angry and aggressive about it….okay, let’s get this over and done with so I can move on with the next 50 years of my life…and feeling scared…of the unknown, of being weak, of the possibility of losing my breast.  Those who know me best know I have a quiet independence about me, and I’m generally far from weak.  I have my moments (and I definitely had a few last night), but overall a victim mentality and pessimism is not my style.

So today I start a new chapter in the next half century of my life!  Thankfully, I am moving into a new apartment today!  Thankfully, because it is something that will distract me from dwelling on something I can’t change right at this moment.  Thankfully, because it is something happy and new that will counter-balance the news I was delivered yesterday.

I still intend to Thrive to 105!!  I refuse to let a few rogue cells rob me of 50 more years of joy and laughter, family and friends, work and play, love and life!!

This is my birthday weekend…Friday, the 13th, to be exact.  In fact, I was born on Friday, the 13th, which (in my estimation) makes it a very lucky day for me!  Now I am one year closer to that goal line with the banners waving and “screaming”…105, 105, one hundred and five!!!

It seemed like the right time to get back to the book I’ve started, The Second Half of Life.  I have a few decades to work my way through the Eight Gates of Wisdom, and the first on my journey is the Silver Gate.  Each gate has identical parts that must be navigated:  the Task, the Challenge, the Gift, Reflections, and Practice.  It appears that maybe there is more to this second half of life than merely waiting for wrinkles to appear, body parts to sag, and memories to fade.

Allow me to quote a poem from the book that does a beautiful job of describing what awaits us as we maneuver through the gates of our lives.  The author is Eva Pierrakos, from The Pathwork of Self-Transformation:

Through the gateway of feeling your weakness lies your strength.

Through the gateway of feeling your pain lies your pleasure and joy.

Through the gateway of feeling your fear lies your security and safety.

Through the gateway of feeling your loneliness lies your capacity to have fulfillment, love, and companionship.

Through the gateway of feeling your hopelessness lies true and justified hope.

Through the gateway of accepting the lacks in your childhood lies your fulfillment now.

Bring on those next 50 year!!!  Happy Birthday to me!!!

Dictionary.com defines “thrive” as “prospering, to be fortunate or successful; to flourish”.

I don’t want to just live to 105; I want to thrive to 105!  The chapter I read this morning from Discover Inner Peace talked about being in the moment.  There’s a lot written and spoken about that these days.  If you’re like me, I take it in “in the moment”, but don’t necessarily practice it routinely.  But as I read the book this morning it struck me that if I want to “thrive” to 105, maybe I need to be paying more attention to the moments and let them nourish me so I am some day a happy, healthy centenarian, not a tired, frail one starved by lack of attention to the moments of my life!

One of my intentions is to some day have my own home where I can have an office with a window looking out at trees.  I want to have a table or desk facing the window where I can write while watching the trees…the wind blowing the branches and leaves, the birds and squirrels singing their songs and playing tag along the limbs.  At this very moment, I’m sitting on my bed looking out my window; and directly on the other side of the glass is a huge evergreen standing guard over the front yard with ivy hugging its trunk.  The house belongs to my roommate, and I’m in my bedroom, not an office; but what a shame I’ve wasted so many days with my laptop on my lap facing the door rather than the window!  How much more satisfying and fulfilling the moments are this morning writing with a simple change in direction.  Had I been paying more attention to the experience of the moments that made up my writing time, maybe I would have turned around more often, remembering how much more special the moments feel facing this great tree!

But maybe that’s part of the challenge, as well, especially as we get older.  We don’t always remember the moments once they’ve passed.  All the more reason, I guess, to savor the moments; because we can’t find solace in them once they’re gone, if we can’t remember them!  Oh, dear…that distresses me a little.  I can buy into cherishing the moments and not being distracted by what hasn’t happened yet or the boo-boo you made yesterday, but what about those great moments you just relished…what if you want to get them back…remember them again?

Maybe that’s why I’m a “hoarder” of sorts when it comes to memorabilia.  Rubbermaid stock has surely risen just from my purchases alone, filling containers of many hues with letters, pictures, programs, journals, and other trinkets that have constituted the moments of my life.  I was discussing this “habit” with a couple dear friends yesterday (Irene and Sharon).  How do you let go of this “stuff”?!  With a memory like mine (which wasn’t all that great even when I was younger…unless I was memorizing song lyrics), most of the moments preserved in those tubs would have been long gone.  Why else do we take a photograph…a moment captured in time?  So we don’t forget; so if we’re not totally in that moment or if we have crappy memories, we won’t feel as though we’ve lived our lives in a vacuum with nothing to show for the years that have slipped by too quickly.

Even though it doesn’t happen often, when I take a moment to pull a few things out and reminisce, I’m reminded why I keep the tubs full.  Nobody else will probably care what’s in them once I’m gone.  My kids don’t even seem that interested in the ones I filled for them with the moments of their young lives…the crafts and cards and school successes.  They’ll probably open them up one day and say, “What in the world was she thinking?”…although they probably won’t use the phrase, “what in the world”, if you know what I mean.  Maybe my granddaughters will care, just as I’m attached to moments saved from my grandmother’s life.  Honestly, I hope someone thinks it’s a little bit of a hoot some day to open the containers and spend moments they can get lost in learning about my special moments.  While I believe trying to actually live and be in the moment IS so important, being able to retrieve them…to me…is a strong second!

He called me “Sparky” or sometimes the derivative, “Sparkles”.   I can’t really remember why anymore.  He was the only one who called me by that nickname, and it was very endearing when he said it.

We all called him “Farmer”, (except for Annie, who called him “Paw”), although he didn’t make his living as a farmer.  He sported a handlebar moustache that curled at the ends, wore a cowboy hat and boots, and had the most wonderful tenor voice…one that I’ve heard in my right ear while standing on the risers for more than 35 years.

He was down to earth, straightforward, and lovable.  He showed me how to do the 2-step at an alumni party one year… patient, kind, and lots of fun!  Although we lived several hundred miles away and only saw one another once a year, I knew had I ever needed him, he wouldn’t have hesitated a moment to be there for me.

When he sang, he gave it his all and could carry many of his fellow tenors along with him…not to mention sharing notes with the second soprano to his left (ME) every so often.  I refused to be moved no matter what Mr. C (our director) desired, so that after the years went on, he stopped trying.  We were a pair…a matched set…like a broken in pair of slippers that was comfortable and familiar.  I loved hearing him sing; I loved having him there sharing the music with me; I loved Tom Welcher, my friend.

As I say those words, it’s the first time I’ve had tears come to my eyes.  Maybe it’s because it’s just now starting to sink in that he’s gone.  How can it be?  I didn’t even know he had a heart problem!  How can it be?  In our minds and hearts every year when we all walk up to the risers to sing, we’re all still 18, 19, 20…even though we look at one another and know we’re really 45, 55, 65.  How can it be?  I didn’t get to say good-bye one more time…let him know how much his friendship has meant to me all these years…how much I’ve loved hearing his voice in my ear!

If I’d had the chance, I would have sung these words to him…we all would have sung these words to him:

Au revoir, au revoir

Time to part ’til we meet another day

Curtains rise, curtains fall; and today ends like any other day

Time to go, though we know, there are so many things we ought to say

But it’s done, come what may

Maybe one wonderful day, we’ll meet again

Until then….Au revoir

Okay…no…those of you reading this who know me well may think I’m talking about my emotional heart, but today I am talking about my physical heart…and YOURS, for that matter!

Recently, I began having irregular heart beats, pressure on my chest, trouble breathing!  When these symptoms didn’t go away after returning from a stressful trip to visit my dad, I became convinced I was in deep trouble.  Visions of open-heart surgery (and no health insurance) created even more stress, which, in turn, made the condition worse.  It was a vicious circle!  Upon finally visiting a new (very young, very cute) internist, it turns out I have acid reflux!  Whew!  That’s something I can live with…although, it is a bit annoying having to pay even more attention to the things I eat and when.  But I digress…

My heart…your heart.  It’s rather obvious to state that we can’t live without ‘em, so we better take care of them.  I’m a big fan of Prevention magazine and was reading an article in the October 2009 issue called, “A Trio of Heart Savers”.  It was written by Dr. Arthur Agatston, a cardiologist and associate professor of medicine from Miami (click on his name for a link to his blog).  The article describes three relatively easy ways to be cognizant and in control of how well your heart is actually doing.

The first of the trio is sleep.  This first one gave me a little scare.  Dr. Agatston states that if you feel drowsy during the day (I wonder how he defines drowsy…yawning once in a while or nodding off in front of the computer screen), you could be doing damage to your heart!  A study from the Journal of the American Medical Association indicates that adding an extra hour of sleep at night can reduce your risk of coronary artery calcification BY 33%!  That’s huge!  I don’t know about you, but I’m regularly sleep deprived, rarely going to sleep before 1 a.m. and averaging about 5-6 hours a night.  The problem with sleep deprivation is that when you are overtired,

“…your body releases stress hormones that constrict arteries and cause inflammation.”

If you’re like me and feel like a siesta around 3:00 every day or you wake up not feeling rested, chances are we’re not getting enough sleep.

The alto part of the trio (sorry…a little musical reference there), is Vitamin D.  I’ve read a lot about how important vitamin D is lately and the high percentage of Americans who have a Vitamin D deficiency.  This deficiency can contribute to increased blood pressure and (as with the sleep deprivation) inflammation of the arteries.   A blood test can analyze your Vitamin D percentages per millileter.  Numbers from 30 ng (nanograms) to 50 are considered good.  If your count is low, get a little more sunshine in your day (10-15 minutes), eat more foods high in Vitamin D (tuna, fortified orange juice) or take a supplement.

The final member of the trio is a test that can measure the health of the endothelium in the tip of your index finger.  The what?  And why would that be helpful?  The endothelium is a layer of cells that produces chemicals in your body which are responsible for blood vessel functions.  It helps the blood vessels dilate, clot, constrict, etc.   Apparently finding problems in the endothelium is a very good predictor of your future heart health.  The test is simply attaching a temperature detector to your fingertip and a blood-pressure cuff on your arm.  The blood-pressure cuff is inflated for 5 minutes, which causes the temperature in your finger to drop (lack of blood flow).  When the cuff is deflated, it is gauged as to how quickly your finger temperature bounces back.  The faster the better…the more healthy your endothelium is.  Dr. Agatston recommends discussing this test with your physician if you are at risk for heart disease.

So, there you have it…get more sleep, more Vitamin D, and, if warranted, have your endothelium checked…and your little trio will be singing a happy longevity tune!!